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By Princes On January 12, 2009
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Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.
Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.
So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain you’re going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with break up pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.
* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.
* Don’t dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.
Your friends will probably realize that you’re going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don’t blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak. Get back your ex.
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By Princes On December 24, 2008
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Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.
Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
By Princes On December 19, 2008
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If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?
A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.
And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.
It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.
Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.
If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.
The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.
If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.
Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.
That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.
Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:
· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.
· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.
· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.
· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.
· Never, ever beg her to take you back.
When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.
By Princes On December 16, 2008
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If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?
In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…
First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?
Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.
Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.
Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.
For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?
Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?
You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.
There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.
Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them? NO!
Read about The Magic of Making Up
